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Friday, 7 May 2021

Any kind of advice is appreciated. Also, my apologies for the wall of text. Well there's this guy. We met last November through a friend. She invited him to have coffee and I sort of tagged along. It was really just a way to expand our network because we're expats and there's not a lot of other foreign people in our area, we're not really looking for anything. Anyways, after our first meeting, he chatted me on Facebook and invited me to have coffee again. I wanted to bring the friend that initially invited him but she was busy that time so I brought another friend. After that I invited him to watch a film, just the two of us because none of my friends were available. After that we would just invite one another back and forth and we would start hanging out, just the two of us, every now and then. Last January we met each other again for coffee that was the first time we really connected. We talked about all kinds of topic from Marvel movies to past lives. I think we met up a few times after that and then last February, we went on two trips together.

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He's also planning this trip on the upcoming holiday and he always bring this up whenever we see each other. He also remembers this pagoda that I wanted to see and said that we should go there too. However it's not always rainbows and butterflies. There are idk "red flags. " Okay, so we only see each other if it's convenient for him. It's true I have a lot more free time than him but we only see each other when has absolutely nothing to do. We don't really text sometimes we don't talk for days. I don't know any of his friends or family. We're expats here. Other people will only know what we want them to know. Also he's rude to other people sometimes and he constantly says that he hates other people. He's quite the flirt to women and would sometimes say shit like "That girl is beautiful. " But he would also say that he only talks to me and one other friend who is a guy (to maybe let me know that he's not hitting on another woman when we're not together? ) I said I wouldn't assume anything that's not said to me cause I hate to assume then be wrong.

One was a 3D2N trip and the other one is an overnight trip. It was EPIC! He says it was AMAZING! Anyway, I didn't feel any kind of awkwardness during the trip. He was really comfortable to be with. We even did skincare routine on the first night (we were too tired the second night lols. ) Anyways, nothing happened to us in that trip. Absolutely nothing physical. This is the same for the second trip. After the trips we see each other more frequent than before. Sometimes we would go to the spa, to the park, he even once drove me for an errand. Also, there's this fast food place that we frequent (he says he hates thus place but keeps on inviting me to go here because of the soup??? ) and whenever we agree to eat there, he would wait and pick me up at my work (sometimes he would text me that he's nearly dead from starvation). I said before that nothing physical has ever happened between the two of us but whenever we sit together our knees would always touch and the eye contact is like electrifying.

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That would suck big time. It's also dosn't help that he's a gold rush. He can have any woman he wants here. Attractive white man in a sea of asian girls. People giggles when he talks to them. Okay, I sound very insecure now, and I don't like that 🤦. Anyway, I'm like guarding my feelings hard here because of this. I need an outsider's perspective. I'm so confused here help me. I'm a 24 year old virgin who has never had a boyfriend before. Men are complicated 🙄

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